Right Where I Left Me
I sold my soul for the sake of the family
My life in a nutshell: I sold my soul for the sake of the family and found freedom when I stepped away from their schedules and skepticism.
The turning point was recognizing the systems that kept me isolated. The external demands I resisted that now get labeled demand avoidance.
The menopausal depression I managed with medication because the medical systems didn’t have time for hysterical women.
The never ending string of narcissistic suitors I seemed to attract. All because I believed nobody would ever want me exactly as I am.
Demand avoidance is a name somebody else gave it. Names like that do a job. They move the problem off the demand and onto the person who wouldn’t meet it.
The pills worked on the part that was loud. Nothing worked on the part that was true.
And the suitors weren’t bad luck. If you don’t think you’re worth having whole, the ones who want you partway are the ones who make sense.
So I left it all and found myself right where I left me. Young, curious, and brave. Not what people expect to find in an old lady’s body.
If you went back to where you left you, who would be standing there?
Seasons of surrender always carry an element of surprise.
Prepare to be delighted.
- Kim
